It was garbage day yesterday. I can tell because the West Philadelphia sidewalks are merely the foundation for a wind-built house of trash. My partner Jamie and I kick through it like school children kicking leaves on a crisp autumn day. We are going on an adventure. Really, we’re just going to buy paint but things are always more fun when it’s called an adventure, so that’s what we call it. Jamie links her pointer finger through my pinky, and we venture forward just barely holding hands. It’s around 2 pm on Thursday, and the streets are alive. Our 15 minute walk to the el is unpredictable. I like that. I glance to my left, look my girl in the eye, and am suddenly conscious of my heart beating. God, I love her. We sidle up to the intersection of 52nd and Chestnut and wait for the light to change. . . . → Read More: linked
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so today i pick up my pen with intent to write something for you. for you, from me. because it is really all i am able to give. and i hope it is enough. even though the paper i write on and the web domain you read at are impermanent, the resonance of my soul’s words on your soul’s ears could possibly be great. and the point of connection between the writing and the reading is what propels us all forward. . . . → Read More: for you, from me. i often have to remind myself of this. each day i am alive, i am able to learn something. each day i am able to learn something, i am able to live. learning takes many forms. it can be very literal: i go to a class, a teacher passes me knowledge, i am tested. other times it is more figurative: i take the time on my way to a coffee shop to feel the air as it enters my body, cold and crisp in the winter; to feel my feet in my shoes, on the sturdy but broken concrete as i walk. . . . → Read More: language as contribution with this shift in self, i have moved from scripting my life to translating it. i am full of words. they roll around inside my self waiting for the right moment to align them in a way that is meaningful, and when i’m lucky, perhaps also beautiful. i think it is my gift, this desire and ability to take a moment of raw energy and have the guts to try to capture it in words. it’s not always successful, but when it is, my heart beats slow and strong and my spirit seems to root itself further into the earth when i feel i have done that moment justice. i let it live a little longer. and occasionally, i get to share those words with someone else and perhaps then they too get to experience that moment for the reality and truth of what it was. . . . → Read More: the opposite of falling: love in translation  2 comments  blog  bravery, chaos, connection, feeling, gift, hope, lies, listening, love, quiet, reality, reciprocity, translation, trust, truth/honesty, words i believe in fate. i believe in fate, not as some pre-determined destiny; decided path; inevitable fixed truth, but instead as an ideal. i believe in fate, by which i mean the possibility of Self. my fate is not who i will be, already decided for me, but who i may be, who i can be, who i am capable of being. my fate is the destiny of my best Self. and my life is a journey in attempt to reach this ideal, to live my potential. my destiny is the life of who i am when i am whole. of course, life is not lived in a vacuum. things happen, good and bad. chance, luck, access: these things matter. each has an impact on my ability to reach this fated goal of Self. but, i believe the most important part of this quest is choice. . . . → Read More: fate and the possibility of connection what are our schools doing? who are they creating? it seems to me we’re are simply churning out workers. people go to college not to learn, but to get a degree, a piece of paper, to ensure that they make more money at a job. think about it. how could our world be different if people did what they love? if we had a society that allowed each of us to figure out what that is! imagine if we were encouraged to follow our hearts. if we were taught to learn because it made us better people. imagine if we stopped putting education on a pedestal. a pedestal only meant for certain people. imagine if we had education that taught people not just to think, but to be better at whatever they love, at whatever they want to do…thinking or not. imagine if our schools taught us how to better versions of ourselves. . . . → Read More: education and the Self i have had several events this week that have left me feeling like the odd person out. it’s a space i often occupy. but each situation holds its own distinct lesson. weaving them all together to bring clarity into my life (and this blog) is the difficult part. the other day i was having a conversation with . . . → Read More: one person, many paths i think, dear readers, it may be time for a confession. when i’m not doing homework, or studying, or reading, or thinking, or writing, or blogging, i’m spending inordinate (by which i mean insanely excessive) amounts of time watching television. no really. it would probably disgust both of us if i fessed up to the actual amount. let’s just say i’m basically in a relationship with hulu (http://www.hulu.com/). not only that, i own all seven seasons of Gilmore Girls which i have watched so many times, i’ve now lost count. and if that wasn’t enough, my amazing mother burns DVDs of the shows i can’t find on hulu and mails them to me regularly. that’s right folks, i am a 25 yr old tv junkie. i like to think that this balances out of the amount of time and energy i spend being a huge nerd and maybe makes me somewhat “normal” again. heh, i guess i’m a lost cause. . . . → Read More: reading + video = unstoppable i used to walk through my world defensive: walls up, proverbial fists raised, ready to react to any potential threat. i am a successful survivor. i am incredibly skilled at faking it. hand me a difficult situation, and i promise you’ll never know it if i don’t want you to. my life has given me the gift of these skills. and i am grateful for them. but, i can attest that successful survival does not lead to happiness. it is coping. and only that. coping saves lives. but it is a partial existence. i made a conscious decision to stop coping and start living my life a year and a half ago. and so far i know this: that is not enough time to have it all figured out. . . . → Read More: feeling the world i never wanted to take my piercings out for anyone but myself. and 3 days ago i realized, i didn’t get piercings for me. i got them for you. for all of you. to prove something– that i was different. that i could wear my otherness on the outside as some sort of mirror for my soul. clearly, i am different, piercings or not. even with “normal” hair (which i rarely have) and tattoos covered, i believe my fundamental otherness radiates through my spirit. . . . → Read More: piercings and rebellion |
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