lee simply

anything and everything i can ever know about the world will always be limited.  i could harness every ounce of my knowledge and learn everything there is for me to know, and it still would never be complete.  my knowledge can only ever be true for me.  what i learn about the world is influenced by my every experience, every choice, and every piece of knowledge previously learned.  it would be the utmost in ego to assume that anything i know would be absolutely true for anyone else.

however, i do think that i must have some purpose.  if i was put on this earth and in this life to simply serve myself– what good would that do?  human beings are, by nature, social creatures.  we interact with each other in a way that profoundly influences our individual experiences.  if we were to fully embrace isolatory individualism, i believe our world would quickly find its demise.  for this reason, i continually push myself into the uncomfortable position of some kind of public existence.

i realize what i know is likely not what you know.  but i find great value in discovering how we all intersect, creating a community of experiences, choices, skills, and knowledge.  even if my role in that is merely sharing my own (and only my own) truth.  i cannot assume to know my value, be it great or minuscule.  but, for me, the incalculable worth of my knowledge is much less important than the act of sharing it.  it is perhaps the greatest thing i am able to give, making it a rather important part of my experience as a human being.

what makes us a part of the world are the things we choose to share.  what we give of our selves to the collective whole– that will be our legacy.  my gift is only as great as my ability to use and share it.  if i cannot share, i may become nothing more than a waste of my potential.  and even though that would allow for a more comfortable existence for me, it would also be a shame.

so today i pick up my pen with intent to write something for you.  for you, from me.  because it is really all i am able to give.  and i hope it is enough.  even though the paper i write on and the web domain you read at are impermanent, the resonance of my soul’s words on your soul’s ears could possibly be great.  and the point of connection between the writing and the reading is what propels us all forward.

our ability and our desire to share may not be congruent, but i believe we must push ourselves to whichever end is greatest for it is possibly the very point of our being at all.  and while i cannot claim to know much, i know i am moved by a force far greater than myself.  and that i must share that which i do know in an effort to be a part of the world instead of just being apart.

i intend to fold up these words and tuck them away inside myself for the times that are most trying.  when the fear of losing what i know feels greater than the joy of gaining that which i do not.  because it is in those moments that i must remember that to participate is to live.  and i would like to be alive.

if you haven’t already, you should watch the video above because it is what frames this post.

i’m in college, trying to get my undergraduate degree.  the majority of my classmates are 18-21 and i’m 25.  not a huge age difference, but a noticeable one when you’ve been on your own for 8 years.  college small talk consists of a few standbys “so, do you like this class?”  “how’d you do on that test?” and the most used, “what’s your major?” which is often followed up with “what do you want to be?”  one of the things i love so much about school is that it gives me the opportunity to interact with folks i normally wouldn’t know.  it’s a very special environment, ripe with knowledge.

now, i’m in school because i want to be.  i love it.  i had to drop out at 19 and practically counted the days until i was able to get back to school.  5 years later, i’m doing it.  and i’m very proud of that.  but i cannot even begin to tell you how many people do not want to be in school.  or the people who are there just because they feel they should be.  i’m not counting the people i assume this is true for because of their classroom antics.  i’m talking about folks that i have conversations with.  some of my “school friends” (you know the people you are friends with at school, but only know there) are like this.

if you were to pose this question, “why are you here?” to a class of 150 students, i would be scared to see the results.  i believe the majority, probably overwhelmingly would say things like, “i don’t know,” “to get a good job,” “to make money,” “because my mom made me,” etc.  i hear people honestly say they are in college because it is what their parents want.  these are adults, mind you.  now, i understand familial and societal pressure is no joke.  it can make people live their whole lives insincerely.

i used to hang out with this girl in my English class last semester.  it was freshman english, so everyone else in my class was 18, including her.  she’s insanely smart.  very warm-hearted.  i’m sure she could be anything.  she told me she already hates her major, in her second semester of college.  i told her she should change it!  shoot, i’m on my 6th major.  but look at me, at least i’m happy!  she said she didn’t see the point since she doesn’t know what to change it to.  so i asked her to imagine with me.  i said, alright, well, what do you love?  if you could do anything what would it be?  she didn’t know.  i asked a beautiful, intelligent, successful 18 year old what she loved, and she just looked at me blankly.  it broke my heart.

what are our schools doing?  who are they creating?  it seems to me we’re are simply churning out workers.  people go to college not to learn, but to get a degree, a piece of paper, to ensure that they make more money at a job.  think about it.  how could our world be different if people did what they love?  if we had a society that allowed each of us to figure out what that is!  imagine if we were encouraged to follow our hearts.  if we were taught to learn because it made us better people.  imagine if we stopped putting education on a pedestal.  a pedestal only meant for certain people.  imagine if we had education that taught people not just to think, but to be better at whatever they love, at whatever they want to do…thinking or not.  imagine if our schools taught us how to better versions of ourselves.  Du Bois says schools should not just make workers and thinkers, but they should make men.  now, that was in 1903.  today, i would say, schools should make humans.  when i say that, i mean people in touch with humanity.  we are a lost people.  our society creates masses of workers out of touch with themselves and calls that process education.  that is not education.  that is the crushing of our humanity, of our Self, of our Soul.

it has to change.  we have to change it.  our people, ourselves, we need to change.  do you see it?  take a minute.  really, close your eyes.  just picture it…imagine our current reality.  let yourself go there.  feel it.  it hurts.  our people, our country is hurting.  we are out of touch with our needs, with the needs of our communities.  we have lost our connection to our land and to our people.  it’s time to change.  to evolve.  to rediscover what is right, and good, and real.  it is a long process that begins with one simple decision.  to be a part of the solution.  it’s just a choice.

what do you choose?